Optimus Patrick

Fatty McFatterson.

2009-06-30T16:55:00.004-04:00

I swear this is going to me in 2 years if I don't get my shit 2gether... Everyone can just call me McFatterson. I personally think the name sounds delightful and can't wait to take it on as my own. What is causing me to turn so ungodly fuckin huge... It's a few thing... My lack of motivation to exercise which makes me not exercise at all.. My place of employment which allows me to eat shit loads of crap for cheap. And when I eat there it's never ever healthy... Also the fact that I don't eat healthy foods doesn't help... But I think the number 1 reason I am now McFatterson.................... Beer. Oh beer my bitch lover how I love thee... I used to be all about the rum and diets.. But that caused me way to many black out nights and arguments.. So I went back to that tasty yellowish-brown liquid that isn't my piss.... My choice of beer?

Nom nom nom. It's my fav beer... But many a people like to argue with me about it. Ah well.. They can go fist themselves.... Real hard...No lube.

But now I am going to some friends softball game... And yes... I will be drinking..... Bud Light....

word

2009-06-28T22:58:00.002-04:00

Yeah, it's been a while.. That happens I guess.

So what's been goin on with me? I feel like I have been workin a crap load. Which is ok other than the fact it's Chili's that I am working at. :( My friends and I went to Cedar Point a few days and that was fun.

But I guess what I really want to talk about is my friends. I just wanna give you guys a big cyber hug (in the most sexual way of course). I love you guys more than anything. I really do believe friends are the family you pick and I couldn't have any better. Now I just gotta work on the getting a significant other thing. I honestly feel that I am gonna be single for the rest of my life. All the opportunities I have come across I am just not interested in. I know myself I am way to picky. Which I don't understand, cuz I am not that grand myself. But there's someone out there for everyone right? Well it's what I keep telling myself.

On a lighter note Britney is going back on tour to Michigan.. So I plan on going to that. And in a week or so I am going up to Traverse for cherryfest. That will be fun. But much love guys.. I'll blog later.

Music can't save the world, but it can make it better!

2008-11-03T13:21:00.003-05:00

So I am just here playin some music on my I-tunes (another apple plug). Anyhow a song came on that's a bit old, but I still enjoy it as much as when it was Fresh/Hip/Hot/Thumpin or whatever the kids are calling it today. So I compiled a list of my all time faves..... thus far in my life... They are in no order..... That would take me a year to decided, and I think it would depend on my mood. So here they are. Oh p.s... I really enjoy the pop exsplosion of the late 90's early 2000's.
1) Baby one more time- Britney Spears
2) Dark Blue- Jacks mannequin
3) My everything- 98 degrees
4) Bye Bye Bye- Nsync
5) Goodies- Ciara
6) A whole new world- Aladdin
7) What would you do- City High
8) I'm your's - Jason Mraz
9) Open Arms- Journey
10) Losing my religion- R.E.M

And I have to add one more, But I though a list of 11 would be dumb... But it's bleeding love by Leonna Lewis. Later

So an overview of what was my Halloween weekend.

2008-11-02T12:41:00.002-05:00

Agian, Sorry for not posting. But not that anyone readys this anyway. It's more for me. Anyhow, my Halloween weekend started thursday night. Which means that it's Town Homes time. For this evening I decided to dress up as an I-Pod commercial. What is an I-pod commerical you ask? Oh... Well I dressed up in all back, and put on my white I-pod head phones and danced around like the shadows in the commercials. Now hopefully after telling you guys my outfit, Apple will endorse my site and pay me money for mentioning a product of theres 800 times. So back to the Town Homes; I start drinking at let's say around 7:30. Before Amanda got there around.. 9:30 I was drunk... Awsome way to start out the night right? I saw a bunch of people I knew, and played some great games of flip cup. The next thing I know, I'm waking up on Madelyns floor. In my head all I can think of is..... What the fuck happened last night? So I ask amanda what happened.... She told me I feel asleep at 11:30...... WHAT THE BALLSACK! Really.... Did I really do this. Well Julie threw in that i could barley walk or talk....... Awsome...frick.

So the next night (friday) we decided to go across the street to this persons party. Which is nice, so we could get drunk and just walk home. I let a good friend of mine barrow my head phones so he could use the I-pod idea. (Which I was fine with, cuz I didn't want to be the same thing 2 nights in a row.) But one time my friend mentioned putting on a white trash bag and being white trash. GREAT IDEA. So I did this and glued things that would go into a trash can on me.

A few Items were....

1) mac and cheese box

2) Used condom

3) empty birth control pills.

4) bloddy tampon

5) Tissue

I felt that all these items were vital. Well at the party across the street I wasn't having the best time. And I had to work in the A.M anyway. So as I am walking home, April calls me and tells me that we are going to this awsome party. It was awsome... I'll leave it at that.

So yesterday I worked... It sucked real bad.... REAL BAD. And then later in the night Rj and Thad came over. Those 2 + julie and I hit up len and jerry's fisrt. They have pitchers of beer for 5 dolla....... Of bud light.... Yes I know... REAL CHEAP! So i wanted to sing some kareokee(sp?) I did Ace of Base...... I saw the sign... I didn't do a very good job.. But it was fun. Then we hit up Timbers for a drink and a 2 step. And then I went home... They all went down town.. I didn't feel much up for it. So i went home and went to bed... Yes lame.. I get it. But yeah... Later kids

Fuck.... I've been real bad at this!

2008-10-31T20:40:00.001-04:00

So, I have been real bad at this. I know I'm Sorry... Fuck My Life. Happy halloween though. I'll post more often fo sho.

The weekend of Julies b-day.

2008-10-05T22:17:00.003-04:00

My liver prolly hates me. Or loves me. I mean booze makes me happy, but I doubt my liver wanted to get wasted all weekend. Anyhow the weekend started for me on thursday. On Thursday night we took a party bus of 30 people to Bay City and went to a bar. This is in celebration of Julies b-day of course. The girl finally turned 21. Thank the Father of Jesus. Well I got pretty drunk. Got kicked out of the bar for being to drunk. A squared was right by my side, thanks buddy. Got more drunk after I got kicked out... nice...

Next day.... Friday... Jenny and Tom came down for Julies real real b-day and then we went to Timbers for Dinner/Drinks. Well timbers is great and they have drink specials. "very nice". I got drunk agian... Then we went to Patty's. It's a bar right accorss the street. I had many a night I don't remember there. Then we went to matt and Tj's house. It was a very late night for me.. Like 6 am.... fuck tit.

The next day I still drank, but didn't get drunk. Which is fine... I didn't need to. But I want to thank for friends.... ALL OF THEM... i dunno what id do without you guys. much love....

Things that bother me.

2008-09-26T15:43:00.002-04:00

I can't really think of anything of importance to blog about. Not that any of my blogs have a spec of importance in them. So I guess I will just compile a list of things that annoy the fuck piss out of me.

- I don't like it when people scrape there teeth on the fork they are using. Horrible sounding.
- I hate when the TP is backwards on the roll. When I need to whipe my ass the flap of paper should be facing me...not the wall.
- Old people...... I don't know what it is, but i have a hard time talking to old people. I get really uncomfortable. They are my least fav thing to wait on. Not because they are horrible tippers, i just can't speak old person. I always feel they are watching my every move, and analyzing everything i say. I think the goal is to find out if im a rapist or one of those gang memebers they hear about all the time on the news.... Turns out I am... but whatever....jk..... oh and they smell bad.
- When people get pissed that I fart... deal with it.
- When people can say anything they want to you, but when you attack back they get monsterously pissed that you argue back. fuck you.
- People who are not open minded and are prudes... Times are changing. Please don't hold the world back.
- People who diss britney.

Speaking of britney here is her new single.. Womanizer... i love.. later.

Ok.... the wonder that is Twilight.

2008-09-21T18:01:00.003-04:00

Twilight is one of the best books I have ever read in my life. Actually it's a series, but the first book is called Twilight. So therefore it's called the Twilight series. It's actually weird how i found out about this series. I was on one of my fav websites ever(imdb.com) or internet media data base. I saw a clip for this vampire movie called Twilight. It looked good. Then on facebook I saw thay cuzin added Twilight to her fav books. So I did a bit of internet research and the movie is based off the first book. Well it was summertime, and I always enjoy a good summer read. This lead me to going to barns and noble the next day. Not five feet into the building I saw a huge display for the twilight books. It was a sign from Matthew himself. <----------- inside joke kinda. My friend Matt is like jesus. Thus it's the religion of Matthewism............. yes im going to hell. Anyhow i locked my self in my bedroom for a bit and read all the books. Theres four total in the series.

The thing about the book is that the premise sounds so dumb. Girl falls in love with a vampire. Sounds real ~rainbowtastic~ I know. But I made Julie read it, and she now is obsessed just like I. You feel like you really know these characters in the novel. It's not really so much about vampires, as it is more about the passion and connection the main two characters(Edward and Bella) have for one another. But here is a clip of the movie that's comming out. I suggest you see it/read it/live it/shit it.

Oh.. fun game. Count how many times i said twilight...... I believe i may have said it to many times.

What a day...

2008-09-14T14:32:00.003-04:00

Well yesterday was Battle of the Valleys. It's GVSU vs. SVSU. It's pretty much a huge drunk fest. Well instead of going to the game, I was going to do a charity event. I went and it was horrible. And by horrible I mean...... I wanted to slit my wrists for every second I was there......twice. Not by the fact it's charity. It just didn't go well.
So i ended up going to the game. I pretty much felt like the only sober person there. But it poured rain the entire time. I felt like I jumped into a river and I was never going to be dry again. Anyway, GV has an amazing football team. SV was getting there ass kicked, so we left before halftime. Later I got fracking wasted.. I'm gonna say around 4:45 I was good and drunk. I stayed good and drunk all night. Everyone was a great time. I even had whine poured into my mouth from the 3rd story. I was kind of a badass. Well i mean more of a bad ass than Iam normally. But most of the night was drunkin singing and dancing.Both of which are always a good time. But im out.... much love

Rum and Diet

2008-09-12T19:23:00.003-04:00

One of my fav drinks of choice. Beer and long island are great also. I had many a rum and diet last night. I had a great time.. thank you friends.

Flashing lights

2008-09-11T18:32:00.004-04:00

The refrence to the tittle of my blog has nothing to do with the popular kanye west song. It refers to the greatness that is called the casino. Ahh the casino, so much wonder in one gaint room. THANK YOU NATIVE AMERICANS. Anyhow let me get to the gist of the story. It was little little kyles birthday. I use little twice cuz it's kyles youngest brother. He just turned a young 18. I really didn't wanna go. I have no money, and i didn't feel like wasting my money... that i didn't have. But i went... Cuz i realized i was being uber gay. So when i went there the first thing Julie, Jackie, and I did was play roulette(sp?). I ended up a big doller ahead. Then i went and played jacks or better. I broke even with my 5 doller. I then went and played black jack. I played 15 dolla. Still broke even. Then i went to play let it ride. I won... 80 dollers.. i was happy and content.. so i stayed.

Other than that.. not much happened.. Ollie was a great time for sure though.. LAter

VMA night.

2008-09-08T13:55:00.003-04:00

Well as everyone prolly nows last night was the VMA's. It's genrally a pretty big deal for me. But because the cable we are provided with at my current place of residence is made by the devil... We don't get MTV. Yes I am aware that it blows. Yes it is hard to live without the Hills. And yes it is hard not to watch Tila be a slut with men and chicks.

Anyhow we went to madelyns last night for the viewing bash. Well I dunno if i would call it bash, more of a gathering of people.. Who who happen to be my best friends. So as a whole the VMA's were ok... T.I and Lil Wayne were the shit... oh what else made it great?

SHE WON FUCKING THREE AWARDS.

Of course I am talking about my girlfriend Britney Fucking Spears..... Yes that is her full name. Then after the VMA's, Madelyn made great chip taco dip. It tasted "Very Nice".

But I'm gonna go take a shower now, cuz I look a bit skanky... I know big surprise... later

A few things

2008-09-07T14:28:00.002-04:00

Well today is the second day of me not eating anything.. NOT GOOD... Im not going all ano on your asses. I want to eat, but my body is not letting it happen. I tried to eat a few chips today, but that ended with me not feeling so hot. The last time this happened to me, I had a lot on my mind. As I do now. Sad thing is, no one knows what's on my mind. But I also have no intention of letting anyone know. Im interested to see how long this lasts, cuz food is my life.

Next Topic.

The last two nights have been real fun. Tj and Matt have had a few good house bashes at there place. Friday I got real drunk. And well last night I tried to drink beer. But like food, my body didn't want me having it.. But now I am off to work.. which sucks..

later

Free Swag..

2008-09-04T21:00:00.003-04:00

Raise your hand if you don't like free stuff... Um.. if you just raised your hand you should be slapped, with a piece of raw bacon. I for one enjoy free things. I think everyonce in a while, it's good to take a break from stealing and actually have someone GIVE something to you....know what I mean?

Anyhow, Katie and I decided to go to the cards party today at SVSU. What is a cards party you ask? Well it's pretty much a group of random and some not random booths that give you free things. For instance.. T-shirts-Bags-Pens-Money-Coupons-food-perscription drugs- ya know ordinary things. It may be a little sad that Katie and I went, cuz we both don't attend SVSU anymore, but we still had a shamazing time. We came home and showed julie all the cool new items we got today.. I felt like i was 5. I didn't care.. My tiny heart was happy. Then later Katie and I went and played racketball and some b-ball. So we spent all day together. And we are talking as i typed this.. I feel like we are dating.agian. lol...

later skank whores.

errr

2008-09-04T11:32:00.001-04:00

I just got out of bed and people already pissed me off.... not happy....

Angry Drunk.

2008-09-03T16:59:00.002-04:00

So that was me last night. A horrible angry drunk. Which I don't believe I am most of the time. So here is a review or recap if you will... of last night.

1) I was grumpy before I even left the house... bad start. Nick comes over. He, Amanda, Julie, and I go to bennigans to meet up for rj's b-day.... HAppy belated b-day buddy. Well Long islands are like 2 fidy there.. real cheap.. I had 3. I say thats a fairly okay start.
2) We then go pick up Lane at his place so he can join us for the pub adventure. I get in an argument with julie and amanda and im not even drunk yet. Julie was.... fact.
3) I was wasted having a great time at the pub.. Im told i got in a fight with julie. I don't recall leaving the facilty at all. I don't recall the drive home. AND THATS BAD. Cuz i said some real not nice things. I guess amanda and I got into real bad.. She went to punch me in the face but lane caught it. On a scale from 1-10 on drunk, i was prolly around an 8.7... I've been worse but never have i had anger pour out of me like that. The things they said I said were horrible and malicious. It sounded like i was saying anything i could to piss them off.
4) Well after the fight I fell when i was in the bathroom. I landed right in the tub. I decided to take the shower curtain with me. It's no longer part of our bathroom.
5) I pucked all over my sheets and pillow cases. Classy.
6) Went to work this morning still very drunk.

So that's my night summed up very quickly... all in all... I enjoy my time last night....

I wanna be the green one...

2008-09-02T12:51:00.002-04:00

Power Ranger that is. The green ranger was always the best bad ass........ Fact. When i played power rangers when i was younger, i was always Tommy.... Yes i did play power rangers when was young. My cuzin was always the Pink one... Kimberly...

Anyhow... I believe tonight is Pub night. Which is always a great time right?!?!? People might be pussin out on me though.... amanda <------- Don't puss out on me you whore....... Anyhow i think i should shower.. so word skanks.

alone

2008-08-31T21:00:00.003-04:00

So I believe me/myself/and I are having bonding time tonight.... Not in the sexual manner you fracking perves. I got out of work early and the only person home is jackie.. And she's in her room doing Homework and watching Dawsons Creek on DVD. So it's a "bymyself" night. I don't enjoy these nights. I enjoy the few and far between "bymyself hours".... but not nights..... I've recently come to discover I can't handle being bymyself. I need interaction. Something/someone (hopefully someone) to entertain me. I will never be able to live bymyself cuz id go crazy. Like Jack Sparrow when he's in Davy Jones's locker. And there's a million of him wanting that single peanut. Well there will prolly be a million of me wanting a single Pringle..... and you can't just have a single pringle... Once you pop the fun don't stop. Anyhow.. I can't live with people forever... SO WHAT THE BALLS AM I GONNA DO? And that concludes that rant.

But I suppose I can try and find something to do with my life other than this... much love.

Ah.... just a few things.

2008-08-30T14:45:00.004-04:00

So my roomate Jackie/Mom/Todd--(all her names) is turning 23 today. yeahhhhhh.. I am a little sad cuz i have to work tonight, therefore i don't get to go chillen with my "family". Oh well... But we wrapped her gift her bad..... it's gonna be a bitch to open.

So i got a hair cut today. Wost place to go ever. Not that they did a bad job, but they were like all on cell phones.. All wearing flip flops ------ cutting hair.. ewww real gross... They didn't even style my hair when i was done. She left it wet and messy. Not to mention she only spoke 3 sentences to me, all referring to my hair. BITCH

so in honor of my new haircut... here is a video

I am not really a fan of driving.

2008-08-29T17:17:00.003-04:00

Let me start out this post by saying that driving sucks wang, balls and anus.

No I havent gotten into a car reck...... yet... (knock on some fucking wood). But everything about it bothers me. I don't like the fact that at anyone one moment another huge billion pound piece of shit can run into your ass. I also don't like the fact that my billion pound piece of shit can run into someone and kill them. How would i live/deal with that. It's scary. I hate the sound of a car crash. The slamming of the breaks and then the faint yell of the driver screaming holy fuckin shi--------then doesn't get to finish the sentence cuz the huge piece of shrapnel just slammed them in the face. FACT.

Oh and ah paying for gas/insurance/plates....... SUCKS..

Oh so here is the new song/music video for P!nk..it's called So What. I named it amanda's theme song... much love bitches.

So this is how camping went down.

2008-08-24T12:30:00.002-04:00

Ok so i'm sick, but i will get back to that in a bit..

But ok so my cuzin her BF, and I go to the U.P. Ours familys our like drive to Curtis(M.I) and then cal us for the rest of directions. Well once past the bridge we didn't have any cell phone service.... Frackin great.... So we get to Curtis around 9pm... It's like the smallest town ever.. The only thing open is The Pizza Stop. So i go in there and lay all our cells on the counter and was like can i use your phone.. The gentleman was very nice and let us use his store phone.. guess what..NO ONE ANSWERS THE CALL.. so all we could do is laugh really.. But dani stood in the middle of street we got service, they answered and it was golden from there... Oh and then people got drunk that night...

So then of course like 2 days ago i get sick... FML... and work today doesn't want me to come in.... thats not 2 bad of news i guess right? right.....

THis post if for my home girl amanda... much love skank!

Screw fall and Winter

2008-08-16T14:42:00.002-04:00

I would enjoy if summer stayed for the rest of my life. Knowing that next month is september kills me....Ugh.. I need to get in some pool time. But this comming week I am going to the U.P for a family vaction thing. Meaning no facebook... I might want to kill myself. But more than just no facebook reasons. I can only handle so much "family time". But my cuzin dani will be there. And i havent seen my sister in who knows how long.

Oh and last night smee and I went to go sing at a bar... and we did.. and i enjoyed it.. We only did two songs. Mostly cuz it was tough to decided which songs to sing, and waiting for rotation kinda blew.. But drinkin music pretty much means good ass time. But aight kids later.

I need to break out in song.

2008-08-15T21:26:00.002-04:00

I need to sing in my life.. Smee and I want to go to a kareoke(sp) bar, but i am unsure if that is going to happen. So if we don't sing i will be in the dumps...... that much is true....

Lookin better than ever.....

2008-08-14T18:34:00.002-04:00

So this is the new promo for the 2008 VMA's.. If you live under a rock, like Patrick Star on Sponge Bob, the Vma's = Video music awards. It airs on MTV.

Yes that is my girl friend Britney Spears. And she looks better than ever.
_____________________

Oh I lost 50 dollers today at work.. I'm not very happy with myself.. Or the world. But it's in the past and it can suck on my ballsack. Im tired though.. It's been a long couple of days/weeks.... My body is like hey...... slow it down.. And im all... i'm young and i can do what i want. And then my bodys all, ok we'll see bitch...... Well i think my body may be winning.. thank god i have the day off tomarrow.

People being scared is very very funny... look

2008-08-13T15:05:00.004-04:00

Ok so you can skip to about the one minute mark, and you will still get the point.... I laughed so hard... And the fact that the mom also thinks it's the funniest thing ever, makes it even better. But i used to be like that little kid.... Well i still sing the britney, but when I used to get scared id fall right down and cry.. But give me a break, i was just a little boy.. I was helpless.

This one almost made me cry, i was laughing so hard..

This one made me cry.... NO JOKE.... it's so funny..

later

Tired.... yep yep

2008-08-12T13:08:00.002-04:00

Man oh man..... I was going to do a blog on catty bitches, but i think I will save that for tomarrow.... since I am way to tired to think about it.. So I will give you a tid bit of info about my night.. So i went to matts party for the celebartion of Katies b-day... Partyed got drunk... Hit up to bell... Got more drunk... Then continued the party at beccas house.... SO i went to bed at 7 am... ugh so i got like no sleep and i have work at 3:30 to who knows when... not pleased with my life right now..... i may nap/eat/shower.. then work.

later

balls

2008-08-11T21:11:00.001-04:00

Hey i'll write a good blog tomarrow..... i was busy as fuck 2day. so i'll give you guys a quote...

"food replaced sex in my life, now i can't get into my own pants"

later

Hook is for sure my Number 1

2008-08-10T13:20:00.002-04:00

The other day I was thinking to myself... "I know Hook is my fav movie ever, but what comes on the list after that?" I decided it was prolly Transformers. So i decided to compile a list of my favs and try as best I can to put them in order.
1) Hook
2) Transformers
3) Mean Girls
4) X-men 2
5) Tommy Boy
6) Butterfly Effect
7) The Skulls
8) Varsity Blues
9) Cruel intentions
10) Top Gun

SO there is my list.. Of course as more movies come out, that list is subject to change. Just like my herpies.. KIDDING.. hahaha But here are a few that didn't make top 10.
40 yr old virgen, Austin Powers, Finding nemo, Borat.

Later

I KNOW HER!!!!

2008-08-08T17:38:00.003-04:00

...... She's pretty good huh... The story behind this is this..... X-mas break of my freshman year i was at home and tip up town was going on.... For those who are unaware of what such thing is, its a winter festivel in Houghton Lake... WEll she met me, we hit it off... Banged.. Did drugs and all sorts of crazy shit.... then after that she let me ride in her limo for the parade.... She gave me a signed CD and i kept it hoping she would be huge someday.. Well she isn't yet. But the other day i was pondering about what has happened to her. My answer for any question is "google that shat." I did. That vid came up and I was all huh..... i still have that Cd.. As of now I am currently unaware of how well she did.. I do know that it's this season of the show... WE actually never banged, or did drugs... I thought it would add effect to the story.
So this is what my first Real REAL post is about... Agian though.. my grammer and stuff sucks, since i just don't care... This isn't a college Paper so I will write how i wanna.... Meaning most of my I's wont be in caps.... Won't always have a '..... and my spelling will blow.. Don't like it, suck on my ball sack.

ahhhh the first post!

2008-08-08T14:13:00.001-04:00

Well I am unsure how many people are even going to look at this, but this is a major work in process.... Give me a day or 2.